positive reinforcement

Teaching your child character from a young age is hard!

I am a sponge when it comes to parenting, relationship or marriage content.  Although, I never considered myself much of a reader, I find myself addicted to Godly resources like The Power of a Praying Wife, Dare to Discipline, 1-2-3 Magic for Christian Parents, Love & War, The Power of a Praying Parent and For Women Only.  And, I’ve recently started reading Have a New Kid by Friday and Bringing Up Girls.  So, maybe I’m more of a reader than I thought and the list of books I want to read is long and it includes Joel O’Steen books, Sarah Palin’s first book, photography books, etc…

Any of you who know me personally know that I’m always looking for new ideas when it comes to parenting because it is an ever-changing time.  Just when you get a routine down or a sure-thing solution to a common challenge, things change!  Your solution no longer fits.  Such is raising a two-year-old and a three-year-old and a four-year-old.  For us, two was all about consistency in discipline and setting boundaries.  Three seemed to be more about will power.  And, so far, four has been about A, B & C (attitude, behavior and character, as Have a New Kid by Friday explains).  In the midst of these aspects of parenting is so much reward and so much fun and so much learning and loving.  But, shaping their personalities and teaching them respect and discipline is a must when it comes to parenting.  Testing the boundaries of respect has been of serious interest to my girl for the past year. 

I implemented a simple reward/consequence charting system to improve behaviors I would like to see and to cause her to make better choices when it comes to her attitude.  She is used to the charting process because we have used a chore chart since she was about two for fostering the independence she has craved since she was a baby!  This initial chart was created using a product I bought online called Making Chores Fun and created in Photoshop from The Lily Pad.  My creative friend, Jacque Larsen co-created it. 

Below is what our ABC chart it is in it’s simplicity:

She earns a sticker on her chart for:
- each time she uses her manners without having to be reminded,
- each time she does what Daddy and I ask - the first time we ask her (she has to do what we ask regardless but, we reward her immediate obedience),
- each time she is kind to someone else out of the goodness of her heart (she is a generous kid so, this is just highlighting this behavior).

A sticker will be crossed out each time she talks back or is disrespectful. 

At the end of each day, we count up the number of stickers that have not been crossed out and she gets .05 per sticker and she is able to spend her money on low dollar goodies every couple of weekends. 

It has taken away a lot of our frustrations with repeatedly asking the same things, confrontation around who is really in charge and our daughter is doing so well with it.  I didn’t mention this is our second run w/ this chart because I let it fall by the wayside when it worked so well the first time.  It is obvious how much children love boundaries and want to do the right thing when it is required. 

After reading Dare to Discipline, I would like to use this as an opportunity to teach her about money by promoting the giving and saving of her pennies. 

What resources have helped you in your parenting? 

(Our comments are currently disabled.  If you have a resource to share, please email me at crissy [at] friendsfamilyandlaughter [dot] com)