reclaiming your time

**The following article was written by guest contributor, Emily Ahern.**

As women, managing our time is a tricky business.  Most of us are the acting C.O.O. (Chief Operating Officer) of not just our own schedules and lives, but also keep track of family schedules, children’s soccer game practices, oil changes, haircuts and everything in between.

I am, like you, a slave to rotating schedules, needs, appointments and obligations.  Here are three tips to help you navigate your daily calendar and reclaim some of the most precious commodity around…time.

1. Identify your most productive method.

My entire life, I have heard people praise the merits of being a multi-tasker.  And particularly that women are excellent multi-taskers.  For years I have been pushing myself to not only do it all, but do it all at the same time.  It took 30 years for me to realize that multi-tasking is not an effective method for me. 

I came to realize during a particularly stressful December in 2008 that my best method for accomplishing a large number of tasks is to tackle one at a time.  I am a mono-tasker.  I don’t do multiple things at one time or I get overwhelmed. And for me, being overwhelmed leads to paralysis. I don’t even know where to start…so I don’t start. This is how I explain the dirty dishes which constantly fill my sink.

Look at each activity and decide if it directly contributes to one of your goals.

So instead I organize my life quite efficiently by doing one project at a time, do it well and to its completion, based on its due date. I have a nifty little desktop calendar that I bought at Wal-Mart for a buck or two. And I write everything down and only work on the next task. Never more than that. I don’t even allow myself to think about what is due tomorrow…only what needs to get finished today. When I am finished, I move on to the next one.

I have found, based on my personality that this is the very best way for me to organize my time and get things done. Although, I can talk on the phone and do almost anything….except write html code. 

Whether you are currently a multi-tasker or a mono-tasker, if it’s not working for you try a different method.  You may find that your personal best method is opposite of what you are doing now or is a combination of both.

2. Prioritize

Take a moment and think about 3 things you really want from life.  It might be keeping romance alive in your marriage, having a home filled with togetherness, giving back to your community, maintaining relationships with a close-knit group of girlfriends, building close bonds with your children or growing spiritually. 

Now, think about the activities that fill your schedule in a given month.  Look at each activity and decide if it directly contributes to one of your goals.  If not, assess whether or not you can eliminate it from your life.  Of course, some things must remain intact, like work, and that’s fine.  But give each thing a critical eye and decide if it could be replaced with an activity that moves you towards your true priorities.  For instance, you might replace your high maintenance plants with easy care ones and cut down on your time in the garden and replace it with a weekly afternoon board game with the kids.  Or you might quit the HOA meeting you feel obligated to attend and join a sewing circle or make a monthly date night with your spouse.

3. Don’t Find Time…Make Time

I have often excused myself for not doing things I wanted or needed to do by saying, “I just can’t find the time.”  I grew up with a passion for reading the classics.  As I grew older and my life increased in obligations and complexities I found myself pushing reading for pleasure to the bottom of the heap in a long list of other time consuming activities.  And then I realized that my soul needs to read good literature, with antiquated words and dusty jacket covers, to be whole. 

I have a secret to tell you…in my world, there is no such thing as “found time.”  It simply does not exist. If there’s an extra second, it’s gunna get filled.  I finally had to change my mindset and realize that if there are things I truly want to do that I am not getting around to, that I need to MAKE time.  See, finding is something you stumble into, without even trying.  But MAKING time requires effort and puts control into your hands. 

And so I decided to not wait around for a pocket of empty time to drop into my lap.  I began to make time.  I scheduled in some time each week to read and do nothing but read.  Let the laundry go unfolded. Let the carpet remain covered in fruit loops.  Let the DVR record that TV show for another time.  I would sit down and read.  And I would not feel a bit guilty because reading makes my soul come alive.  So make a commitment to make time for that which makes you whole.